Confidence in Him

We are getting nearer and nearer our departure time.  Our days are filled with so much activity.
There are so many details to attend to.  Have I ordered homeschool materials for the next three years yet?  Do I have shoes for the boys?  How do you buy shoes for growing boys three years in advance?  What should I bring from home?  How will I get it there and will it actually show up?  There are funds to be raised, going away parties to plan, and goodbyes to be said.  So, so many goodbyes to say.

We get to the end of most days and wonder what happened with the time, but, invariably, we feel good about what was accomplished and thankful for the friends we saw that day.  God has been so good to give us time with friends and family each day.  In fact, God has been so good...Period.

It is hard to attend to everything without thinking about our end goal.  That goal being to leave all that we know and love to go to a far away place that holds our hearts.  We are choosing this.  We choose it confidently, and that makes all the difference, doesn't it?

We know that our new life will be filled with challenges and dangers that we cannot yet fully imagine, but we also know that God has a work for us there.  I feel so protected and cared for by the Lord.  He has overwhelmed us by His generosity and faithfulness.  His gestures of love are so extravagant and there is no denying His plan for our life.  I am confident of the path that He has laid before us, and it is that confidence that keeps me going when I am afraid or sad.  Of all of His good gifts, this confidence and His assurance is what I most treasure.  Without it, I doubt that I could be obedient to His plans for us.  Our obedience is only the result of perfect peace and absolute certainty of a faithful God who always does what He says He will.

We feel truly blessed to serve the Lord in this way.  Because we have no hope of accomplishing this task without Him, we get to fully surrender each day into His hands.  Each step is taken at His good pleasure.  Each day He asks us to do something impossible and we step out knowing that only by His grace will we succeed.  And as the hymn goes, "He never failed me yet!"  We serve a God who is faithful all the time.  He will keep His promises.

For all of our friends and family who fear for us in this transition, please know that we find great comfort in the confidence the Lord has given us.  We are so thankful for your love and care for us.    We are blessed by your relationships.  We ask that when we have hard days of doubt and fear, that you will listen to us patiently, but also remind us of the confidence we have in Him.  Encourage us to stand strong in the faith.  Somedays will be especially difficult and we will need that reminder.  Remind us that His love is perfect and that perfect love drives our fear.  Please speak with boldness the power of the risen Lord into our lives, not the doubt and fear that spews forth from Satan, the father of lies. There is nothing that He would like more than to have well-meaning loved ones, in their fear, keep us from the unreached Tajumulco Mam people.  Please pray for us and lift us up in these ways.

So, at the end of the day, know that we are excited and nervous, we are sad and scared, we are busy and distracted, but most of all, we are confident.  And, thankfully, our confidence in Christ trumps all of those emotions.


Hebrews 10
22  let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings,...
23  Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.
24  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,
25  not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 11
1  Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Can you pass the tissues, please?

Life here at MTI is a mixed bag.  On the one hand, I am surrounded by wonderful new friends who are always around for a fireside chat (or cry, let's be honest) or a game of Settlers of Catan in the evening.  The children have so many friends to play with.  We are surrounded by the beautiful mountains of Colorado, AND it snows here!  It all sounds pretty great.  Until you think about the intense sessions that we face every day, the lack of privacy or alone time, none of your friends or family are here, and the real kicker for me,  I haven't been able to cook for a month!! When I am stressed, I cook. I love to feed people.   Feeling anxious?  I must need to bake something!  It is my coping mechanism of choice, and it is completely unavailable to me.

Last week, we participated in a simulation in which we had to spend an hour in a small wooden box with 16 other people, hiding from rebel forces who were known to be attacking Christians.  It was intense!  I had not been a part of any type of simulation before coming here to MTI.  I don't think I could explain the experience very clearly in this format, but I am so thankful for the commitment of these trainers to do hard things so that we have an opportunity to confront our fears in safety.  It is amazing how a group of people who were strangers three weeks ago can pull together to care for one another in our weakness.  It was a hard day.

This week we have spent a lot of time talking about stress.  The "long-term, hard to manage, unrelenting" stress of the cross-cultural mission field.  Fun, right?  But that's not all.  We also discussed conflict, the different styles and how widely they vary in each culture.  We learned that we will absolutely, unintentionally (likely on a minute to minute basis) offend the people we are going to serve.  Today we talked about grief and loss.  Many tears were shed.  We spent the day talking over the losses we have experienced and making sure that we had properly grieved them.  In grieving, we acknowledge our need for our Father and we experience the blessing of His comfort.  He is the Father of all compassion and God of all comfort.  We cry out to Him, "Father, Help!" And He does.

Tomorrow we learn how to say good goodbyes.  More tears.  More mourning.  I cannot imagine leaving these people.  We have grown so close, bonding over shared tears and fears, joys and heartaches.  They have become a part of our story and we have become part of theirs.  But the reality is, we have only known one another for a month.  How am I going to leave my family?  Or the people who have become my family over the years?  I am blessed by rich relationships with dear, godly women.  We live in a community of believers who love fiercely and loyally. How do you walk into an airport with all of your earthly belongings in a few suitcases and say goodbye to the people you love?  I cannot imagine leaving this life and these people behind.   I am confident that the God who sends us is faithful and that we can trust Him with our family, but on days like today, I am just thankful that He is near to the brokenhearted.

A Glimpse of Our Snowy Adventures

Aidan getting airborne!

Paul takes the boys for a hike every morning!

The boys had such a fun time in the snow!

Aidan's miniature snowman

The results of freezing fog

MTI -The Lost Post

***This post is out of order, but I thought it was lost and just found it.  Those closest to me will understand!

MTI, or Mission Training International, will be our home for a month.  It is located in Palmer Lake, CO, and to say that the area is beautiful would be an understatement.  We are in a kind-of compound nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains with 27 other missionary families.  It has been such a blessing for our family!  Friendships were quickly formed between kids and adults alike.

The weekdays are filled with classes that guide language acquisition and phonetics right now.  We are busy working out our lips and tongues all day (while watching our mouths contort in a mirror)!  It feels great to be a little silly, as it relieves the pressure that we all feel about learning new languages for the sake of the gospel.  I will NOT be posting pictures of these exercises!  We also have counseling sessions and sessions about expectations and the paradoxes of going/leaving.  The days are mentally tiring, but we always feel just a bit more prepared, a bit more confident, a bit more 'normal' at the end of them.  Our friendships go a little deeper each night as we sit around and process everything we've learned that day.  We grow a little closer as we share our stories and our struggles with one another.  It is hard to describe how sweet this time is!

The boys are having a blast and they are learning the same things that we are.  They go on field trips, talk about their Yay moments and their Yuck moments, and they spend time with other kids who are getting ready to say goodbye to all of their friends.  Elijah has learned how to sing "God is so good" in French and Swahili.  Aidan is learning Hindi, as well as "God is so good" in four languages!  The best part about this is is that their confidence is being built.  They are discovering that they can learn a new language and it can be fun.  We love seeing their faces when they share their new accomplishments each day!

The program here is intense, but they are mindful of this and our class days end at four during the week and we have the weekends off.  That means time for processing the info we shoved in our brains and time to relax and have fun so we are ready for the challenges of the next day.  Today we are headed to Pike's Peak!

The Days Are Just Packed!

This has been a very intense first week at MTI (Mission Training Institute).  In the words of Bill Watterson, The Days Are Just Packed!  It was a great week and, despite being a bit overwhelmed, I am so thankful to be here right now, just focusing on strengthening our family and preparing for our move. 

 We get up and eat breakfast with new friends and then worship all together.  Then the boys go to their classes and Paul and head to ours.  We are all learning the same things, just on different levels.  These first two weeks focus on language acquisition.  We are practicing speaking correctly and clearly and learning phonetics of symbols that I've never even seen, but will soon be using in my everyday conversation.  We watch our mouths in a mirror to make sure our tongues and lips are in the correct position and then commence with the noise making!  There is some laughter, but, for the most part, we are each intent on figuring this language thing out.  I  never realized how exhausting it could be to spend the day learning how to make sounds!  Aidan, Paul and I are each training in a different language.  The idea is to learn HOW to learn a language, so that you gain confidence and can guide language learning with a language helper on the field.  It is an amazing system and we are having fun.    Aidan is learning Hindi and, according to the adults in his group, he is doing very well.  No surprise there!  Paul is learning Bulgarian and I am learning Russian.  We are having a great time!

Besides the language acquisition, we are also having counseling and personal growth sessions.  We are also talking a lot about expectations and the paradox of excitement and sadness that surrounds the going process.  

All in all, it is an emotionally draining process, but the founders of this program are so smart.  Each day ends at 4:oo and we are free to process and decompress in the evenings and on the weekends.  We love hanging out in the evenings, talking with new friends and getting to know one another's stories.  Not to mention, we are living in a truly beautiful place for the next several weeks!  The boys go hiking every morning and we all play outside in the evenings.  

Yesterday, we went to Pike's Peak and that was an adventure!  We got two miles up the ascent and our radiator gave out!  We trekked back down, found a repair shop, rented a car and went back up while the minivan was being fixed.  It was more complicated than we had planned, but it was so amazing!  The summit of the peak is at just over 14,000 ft.  We made it to just over 13,000 (above the tree line) before they turned us  back.  The winds were sustained around 35 mph with gusts up to 80 mph.  Our car was being swayed a bit.  There were almost no guardrails, but the view was awesome!  We got out of the car at 13,000 ft and had to hold on to little Elijah to keep on the top side!  They loved it, but were a little trepidatious at being so high with such strong winds.  We took some pics and then headed back down 10,000 ft where we had seen a picnic area.  There was so much snow and we had plans to have some fun!  In some parts, Paul sank up to mid-thigh!  For the most part, it was 12-18 in deep.  We had never been in snow like that and it was a blast.  Snowballs were thrown, snow angels were made, snow was eaten.  In general, a great time was had by all!  

  

Roadtrippin' With My Three Favorite Allies

We got on the road yesterday and headed west.  I have never driven any further west than Dallas, TX, so I had so much fun!.  We woke up to a thick layer of fog over Shreveport, expecting it to lift at some point.  It never did!  As we headed west and then a little north and then a littler higher, the temperature just dropped steadily (from the 48 degrees in S'port).  It was great and I learned about a new-to-me weather phenomenon--freezing fog!  As we drove, everything become more and more beautiful because it was covered in lovely, silvery ice.  The trees and tall grasses, the fences, the furrowed dirt.  It was amazing and the boys could not stop taking pictures!

All in all, it was a wonderful drive across Texas and we all had fun and kept good attitudes, even though it took about nine hours.

We stopped in Amarillo for the night and stayed with the parents of a very sweet friend. We had such a fun night and they have played with and indulged our boys with stops to play in mounds of snow!  The boys are enthralled with the little piles of snow in the parking lots here, so I cannot wait to see their little faces when we actually catch our first glimpse of "real" snow!  

We are headed out this morning for the second leg of our journey and will arrive at Missionary Training International this afternoon.  We are all more than a little excited!  

THIS Monday?!?!

We have a lot of training coming up in the next few months.  Intense medical training, cross-cultural training, language acquisition training, Bible story/Orality training, etc.  It is a lot of training that will span many topics, and it is be sure to be emotionally draining, as well as absolutely vital for our success on the field.  That's why we thought we might sneak in a vacation before we got started--a little time to laugh with the boys and enjoy some relaxing free-time with family.  That is what we thought we would do.

That is NOT what God had in mind for us.

Paul was on the phone yesterday (Friday) trying to set up our reservations for the month-long training we need in Colorado at Missionary Training International.  I had a trip to Guatemala planned for the first week of March, medical training the last two weeks of March, and an exploratory trip to our new people group in Guatemala in April.  So we knew that we needed to attend the May session to fit our full training schedule, not to mention our family trip this coming week.  Wouldn't you know, the session filled up and a waiting list was started all while he was speaking to the representative!  We weren't sure what to do, but then the rep told us that she had just gotten a cancellation.  "Would you consider coming in on Monday for your training?" she asked.  "THIS Monday?!?!"  

Well, it turns out that we would consider it.  And our advocacy team prayed and considered and recommended that we go.  So, here we are, frantically packing, buying warm socks and boots, gathering schoolwork, and trying to get all of our ducks in a row.  

Praise God for these opportunities to practice obedience!  Praise Him for adventurous little boys who never balk at a sudden change in schedule! And praise Him for a wonderful husband who steadies me when I might quake a bit in my (new hiking) boots!  I may be nervous at times, but I love that I serve a God who constantly stretches me so that I may be well-fitted for His service.  

I'll let you know how it goes!

The Volcano We'll Call Home

   

This is the Tajumulco volcano.  At 13,845 ft, it is the highest point in Guatemala and all of Central America.  Fun Fact:  That makes it a whopping 13,660 ft higher than our current home of Shreveport, LA!  Pretty cool, I think.  Many of you may know that Paul and I are moving our little family to the side of this [dormant, PTL*] volcano.  There are precious people there who have not yet heard that Jesus is Lord and we are humbled that God would use us to share this good news with them.

These past few months of praying and researching and praying some more have been wonderful for my walk with the Lord.  He has constantly reassured me in nervous moments. He has confirmed His plan whenever I have doubted. He has replaced my fearful spirit with one of adventure and boldness.  He has been a faithful lamp at our feet and, when we have cried out for more, He has shone a light on our path.

There is still so much that we do not know about what this new adventure holds, but we know that the Lord will be with us each step of the way.  He promises us His presence.  Matthew 28 tells us, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, even to the end of the age."  How could we ask for anything more than the abiding presence of Jesus?

God told Abram to go.  He told him to leave his country, his people, and his father's household.  He said, "Go to the land that I will show you."  And Abram went, as the Lord had told him.  I am always so thankful to have these acts of faithful obedience to encourage and embolden me in my own walk!

This is our adventure in obedience.  I am excited, nervous, humbled, and, let's be honest, a little bit terrified!  I can't wait to tell you all about it!

*PTL-Praise The Lord